Showing posts with label April Fool's Day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label April Fool's Day. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Exclusive: Russia buys Vancouver landmark in hostile takeover

Russian clowns fooling around at Science World in 2010 (Sochi 2014)
The Russians are coming (back), the Russians are coming (back)!

Four years after Science World was temporarily transformed into Sochi World during the 2010 Winter Olympics, the Russian Federation government is set to buy the Vancouver science museum for good. 

A management source indicated the Russians had executed a hostile, $50 million takeover of the False Creek East property, financed entirely by state-owned oil and gas giant Gazprom. All 100 employees received layoff notices. It is expected they will be replaced by temporary foreign workers from Vladivostok.

“They just walked in last week and gave us notice to be out April 15,” said Avril Duren, one of the curators. “They insisted in giving us the bad news in memos printed in cyrillic; we had to use Google Translate to figure out what was going on. I can sympathize with Ukrainians in Crimea.”

The government of President Vladimir Putin plans to showcase Russian space and military innovations in the main gallery, with an emphasis on Gazprom's evolution. Art, culture and sport will have a gallery of its own. It will also contain the world's first hall of fame for oligarchs, to celebrate their contribution to building the new Russia.

The Omnimax Theatre will be programmed to show Russian cinematic works like the classic Battleship Potemkin and 2013’s Stalingrad, the highest-grossing film in Russian history. There will be special showings of Russian medal winning performances from the Sochi 2014 Olympics and Paralympics, plus repeats of the opening and closing ceremonies. The giant, crying Russian bear from the closing ceremony will be on display outside Science World through the end of summer. 

“We feel Vancouver is the ideal city in North America from where we can begin to re-educate the west about Russia’s aspirations of greatness, its desire to spread the wings of the Russian eagle so as to give the world a giant Russian bear hug and never let go,” read a statement prepared by the Russian foreign ministry. “The good feelings created by the Sochi Games ignited a Russia-wide rediscovery of ourselves, it overflowed into Crimea and is ripe for sharing with our friends in the west.” 

A restaurant serving Russian fare, such as borscht, caviar and salads, will include a bar specializing in the finest imported vodka. A vodka distillery will be built on site. The building will serve as a hospitality centre during the Gazprom-sponsored 2015 FIFA Women's World Cup to help promote the 2018 World Cup in Russia. 

Opening day is scheduled for June 12, Russia’s national holiday. The planned opening day two-for-one promotion for heterosexual couples is sure to grab headlines and attract the attention of Canadian human rights watchdogs.

“Great... a potemkin village near the Olympic Village,” laid-off staffer Duren said of the Russian government plans. "Where are students supposed to go on science-related field trips now?"

Science World opened in 1985 as the Expo Centre to act as a preview for the following year’s Expo 86 world’s fair on transportation and communication. After the fair, the geodesic dome became the permanent home of the Arts, Science and Technology Centre. Leaks in the roof were fixed and a new low-energy decorative lighting system was installed.

In 2012-2013, Science World attracted 631,617 visitors and program participants and counted $10.774 million in revenue, $9.351 million expenses and a net surplus of $1.088 million. 

Russia's junior acting assistant vice deputy of foreign affairs, Deney Duraka, is scheduled to make the plan official at a news conference just before noon on April 1st.  

Monday, April 1, 2013

Pandas for the PM, elephant for the Premier

Prime Minister Stephen Harper received two giant pandas as a gift from the People's Republic of China on March 25 in Toronto. Female Er Shun and male Da Mao will make Canada their home for the next decade.

Meanwhile, Premier Christy Clark is expected to receive an Indian elephant on behalf of British Columbians as a gift for hosting the inaugural, April 4-6 Times of India Film Awards in Vancouver. 

Premier welcomes The Times of India Film Awards to B.C.
TOIFA trophy unveiling on Jan. 22 in Vancouver.
TOIFA has been dogged by controversy since the Jan. 22 announcement because of the $11 million taxpayer subsidy and the timing, just five weeks before the provincial election. Tickets are still available. Many tickets.

Tourism Vancouver is having fun with TOIFA.
The special mammal cargo from the Bhadra Wildlife Sanctuary was sent as a gift of the Government of India, aboard the freighter Prabhu Daya, with a veterinarian and a trainer. The Singapore-flagged bulk carrier arrived in Port Metro Vancouver last week from Mumbai and the pachyderm was delivered under cover of night to a secret barn at the Greater Vancouver Zoo in Aldergrove (Fort Langley-Aldergrove's MLA is Deputy Premier Rich Coleman).

The two-tonne female elephant named Murkha was chosen because it was born Feb. 26, 2011, the day Clark won her party's leadership contest. Murkha is expected to be featured in the "Jai Ho" grand finale number of the gala awards at B.C. Place Stadium; a loading bay at the stadium has been outfitted as Murkha's "dressing room." The Times of India Film Awards' trophy features a black elephant holding a film reel in its trunk. 

Spokeswoman Avril Tromper said a photo opportunity, featuring Clark and Coleman riding Murkha the Elephant, is expected to happen just before noon on April 1.

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